Introducing your new baby to an older sibling, whether they’re 2 or 12, can feel like a delicate task, but it’s an important part of making the transition to a bigger family smoother for everyone. Here’s a thoughtful approach to consider:
Should You Bring Your Older Child for a Visit?
Yes, if possible, it’s generally a good idea to bring your older child for a visit at the hospital. Meeting the new baby in the early stages, before you bring the newborn home, can help the older sibling feel included and part of this special moment. It allows them to understand that this is a family event, not just something happening "to them." Also birth and having another baby is a family event!
What Does This Look Like?
Prepare in Advance
Before coming to the hospital, talk to your older child about what to expect. For younger children (like a 2-year-old), keep it simple, saying things like, “We’re going to meet your new baby brother/sister soon.” For older children, you can have deeper conversations about how life might change.
Bring a Gift from the Baby
A small present “from the baby” to the older sibling can be a great way to start the relationship on a positive note. This can help the older child feel special and connected to the baby, rather than seeing the baby as competition for attention.
Let Them Lead
Allow the older sibling to engage with the baby in their own way. Some may want to touch or hold the baby, while others might just want to observe. Let them take their time, but offer gentle encouragement. If they’re hesitant, that’s okay—don’t force it.
Use Positive Language
Instead of repeatedly saying "be gentle" (which you’ll find yourself doing eventually), try emphasizing trust and capability. You might say, “You’re doing such a great job being careful,” or “Look how much the baby likes being near you.”
Keep the Visit Short and Sweet
Younger children, especially toddlers, may become restless quickly in a hospital setting. Keep the visit short, fun, and positive. You can bring a favorite toy or book to help them feel comfortable.
Acknowledge Big Feelings
Whether your child is 2 or 12, they might feel a range of emotions—from excitement to anxiety, to jealousy. Let them know it’s okay to feel however they feel, and that it’s normal for things to feel different. Reassure them that they are still loved and important.
Create a Special Role for Them
Giving the older sibling a small responsibility, like helping with the baby’s blanket or giving the baby a soft toy, can make them feel involved and valued.
Handling Big Emotions
At any age, the older sibling may experience feelings of insecurity or displacement. It’s important to give them the space to express those emotions. With younger children, you might see some regression (wanting more attention, acting younger, hitting baby ), while older kids may be more verbal about their feelings.
At some point, you’ll find yourself saying, “Be gentle, be careful” more times than you can count. Newborns are strong and versatile. Trust your older child’s ability to adjust, and trust yourself in guiding them through this transition. Keep the focus on trust, involvement, and reassurance, and you’ll help build a positive sibling bond from the start
